Friday, August 18, 2006

 

Sex Toys for Fundamentalists

Fundamentalist and horny?

Need a "Divine Storage Box" ($37.00) crafted of sensuous materials where your intimate items -- say your "2-Touch Bunny" ($36.75) -- can be safely stored under lock and key, safe from children's view?

Then you need to go straight to -- no, not to hell -- straight to Book 22.

"The twenty-second book of the Bible is Song of Solomon," explains Book 22 for those heathern secularists not familiar with the good book. They go on to say:

We believe that God intended that such love, as spoken of in Song of Solomon, be a beautiful and normal part of marital life. Unfortunately this gift from God has been grossly distorted and abused by both ancient and modern people. Book 22 is offering quality products to enhance the intimate life of God's children. Our hope is that our products will serve as intimacy enhancers for your marriage.
RSR was dimmly aware that procreation, like big SUVs, and skepticism about global warming, was part of the fundamentalist plan, but we mistakenly thought actually taking pleasure in the act was one of those forbidden fruits.

Apparently, we were wrong. Sex, it seems, isn't just for godless liberals, anymore.

Susie Bright, who writes about sex and politics at the Huffington Post, has her own unique take on this particular rapture on the religious right.

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